Some people just don’t get it

Cedric Benson - what are you thinking? NFL players just don’t get it. There is no excuse for people who make six figures or more to ever get a DWI. Call a freakin’ cab or hire a driver, I think you can afford it. Moreover, he had some public sympathy after police allegedly mishandled his booze-cruise situation. But now, the guy has nothing — no excuse. How lit was he? Just look at his mugshot.

Carlos Powell - not sure what to make of your arrest last month.  I was randomly researching Powell and came across this from May ‘08.  Powell was the face of the Carolina basketball team the whole time I was there.

I’ll FOX with ya!

FOX has officially ruined Saturday day baseball. They reserve up to three games a week, change the start times to 3:55, and keep the baseball-watching world hostage. Then, to add insult to just being really pissed off, they throw studio hosts Jeanie Zealasko, Kevin Kennedy and Eric Karros at you — not exactly Karl Ravech and the gang.

Every other day game, even the 1:00 games, are blacked out on MLB Extra Innings. You CAN, however, catch the early games on MLB.tv. But if your team is kidnapped by FOX, and they choose not to show it in your market, then there is no way to watch it. Even I can say it’s a joke, and I am one of the lucky ones. The Mets are always on here. A few weeks ago they were in Colorado, and they were the televised game in South Florida, even though Atlanta and Arizona, a good match-up at the time, lay unused in FOX’s stable.

This week: More debauchery. The Mariners at the Red Sox is the game on here. The other two games that FOX reserved were Cubs at Dodgers and Indians at Tigers. Tim Wakefield is pitching for the Sox. So yes, it’s a knuckleballer pitching against the worst team in baseball, who is throwing Miguel Batista out there. Meanwhile, Carlos Zambrano - one of the best pitchers to watch regardless of who you root for - is pitching for the Cubs, who happen to have the best record in baseball, against Joe Torre, Derek Lowe and the Dodgers. Didn’t the Dodgers used to have Spring Training somewhere around here for a little while or so? Probably no fans, though. Same with the Cubs, they don’t travel well…

On a side note, Manny Ramirez just hit a bomb off Batista, and his pose completely justified FOX’s decision to show this game.

The Answer to all the Mets’ Problems

After another terrible looking defeat, this time 4-1 to the Rockies, I’m left searching for answers. This is what we know: Luis Castillo sucks, and he just got a four-year, $25 million extension. Greeeaaat. So, if you’re Minaya, here’s what you do:

Pay whatever the heck you need to pay to get Castillo off the team. I don’t care if you have to cut him a $25 million check. He has to go. Then, once he is gone, fire Willie Randolph as manager and immediately offer him a contract to play second base, because he is a definite upgrade from Castillo. Then, since Moises Alou won’t be playing consistently for the Mets ever again, turn him into a player-manager, like in the old days. When he’s healthy, he can run himself out there, but if not, let him run this club. At least he knows how to get fired up.

The Gotta Go List

Here is a list of current New York Mets that should not be on the team next year:

Endy Chavez, Luis Castillo, Moises Alou, Carlos Delgado, Pedro Martinez, Orlando Hernandez, Aaron Heliman, Scott Schoenweis, Damion Easley, Marlon Anderson, Rick Peterson, Howard Johnson, Willie Randolph, Omar Minaya. Forgetting anyone?

From J.T. to A.I. and everything between

Well, there go the Miami Dolphins, rudely interrupting my baseball season again.  Seriously, I wish the NFL would disappear from April to September.  I know I’m part of a tiny minority that feels this way, especially in South Florida, but I’m just a baseball nut.  I could argue for baseball over football all day, and the only argument that would beat mine is the ratings argument. Yes, more people watch football than baseball.  There are many reasons for it, such as individual games mean more in the NFL, they play once a week, a lot of build up, etc. But, to me, that’s like arguing about rappers.  Everytime I try and argue Nas over Jay-Z, some Hova fan immediately brings up record sales.  Look, I don’t buy CDs, so I don’t care who else does.  I don’t have a ratings box in my TV, so I don’t care who else does.  I’d love to see the demographics of the people that buy Jay-Z CDs, but that’s for another time.

For right now, since it’s right here, I’ll talk about the Jason Taylor/Bill Parcells childish feud. I’m to understand there is tension because Parcells didn’t acknowledge Taylor when he walked into his office. Wow. Taylor should be a little less sensitive, but at the same time I am so SICK of Bill Parcells.  I mean, seriously, grow up dude.  You’re not coaching Pop Warner or high school or even college football.  You are coaching grown men who are professionals and get paid for playing.  You don’t treat your veterans like high school freshman - you treat them with respect.  Wow, Bill Parcells has won two SuperBowls as a coach.  So has Mike Shanahan, and a lot more recently, and he behaves properly. Parcells’ poor behavior and lack of respect for the same people he demands his respect from hasn’t helped him win.  He happens to be a good evaluator of talent and knows how to put together a good team - thats the reason for his success, not his childish attitude.  Seriously, if Bill Belichick wasn’t a defensive genius, his “be a dick as much as possible” approach would be floating around the college ranks somewhere.  Oh, and by the way, Parcells hasn’t won the big one since 1990, and this great Cowboys team he put together has still never won a playoff game and many players are happy Parcells is gone.  So now, Jason Taylor won’t be at any camps and everyone is up in arms.  What did you expect?  Where the hell does Bill Parcells get off judging JT and his commitment to football?  Taylor has been a great player in this league and will be going to the Hall of Fame as a player.  Parcells is an angry, childish, stubborn old man who will also be on his way to Canton, no thanks to anything he’s done in the last 10 years.  Parcells persona and reputation have been exaggerated due to his popularity in the largest market in the world, New York.  But here he is Dolfans, and you were so pumped up.  For what? He’s going to do what he has done everywhere since the Giants: Bring in the same players from the five other teams he coached, inherit a bunch of players coming off of injury (Ronnie Brown, for example) that should make him look better, alienate fan favorites and veteran faces of the franchise, and quit when he gets tired and bored and frustrated.  Yes, he brings terrible teams back to respectability in a few years.  But not this time.  Nope, it’s not going to happen.  I’ll say it: He is the Larry Brown of the NFL, and I mean that in as negative a manner as possible.  WOW, what a great segue to the NBA!

The NBA Conference Finals are back and I couldn’t care less! In fact, if Allen Iverson isn’t playing, I’m not watching.  Everyone else plays exactly the same.  That’s why I love AI, and I am starting to fall in love with Chris Paul.  Because they do it differently.  There has never been a player in this league who plays like Allen Iverson.  But there are 15 Kobe Bryants in this league right now, granted not as good, but the same style of player.  Everytime I have this arugment with a friend, they will always say that Iverson shouldn’t get extra points because he is small.  But think about the challenges presented to him because of his size.  Imagine if Iverson could dunk in traffic like all the other guards in the league gifted with natural size.  Go ahead and name me the last scoring champ besides Iverson who COULDN’T dunk in traffic.  Stumped? How about the Logo - Rick Barry.  I don’t think Iverson will ever win a championship, and I don’t think it should count against him for a second.  He’s done his share in the playoffs - second in all-time playoff PPG behind some guy named Michael Jordan (29.7).  But he will probably never win one and if he does it will be in Gary Payton-esque piggy-backing fashion.  AI is not a guy that can be fairly measured by championships won.  Appreciate him for what he is, a unique, dominating scorer.

I guess I’ll drop some NBA predictions: Whichever team has the ball bounce their way the most will win the NBA Finals. Is that good?

Around the Diamond

A few thoughts on baseball:

- Maybe the Marlins should have waited to see how HanRam reacts to actually being pitched like a big leaguer before extending his contract in record fashion. He has admitted that he is being pitched differently this year and is having a tough time staying within himself. He has demonstrated that he has no interest taking a hack at the fastball on the outside black at the knees, even with two strikes. Since the deal was announced last Saturday, Hanley is 5-for-27 with only one homer and two RBI. The good part of signing a big deal: Money, security, etc. The bad part: You’re on the map. Enjoy.

I have always felt that the Marlins’ individual numbers were inflated because they play with absolutely no pressure or expectations. (See: Miguel Cabrera so far in Detroit)

- The Hanley deal actually makes the Mets front office look good for once. HanRam signed for six years, $70 million. The Mets locked up their young left side of the infield (David Wright and Jose Reyes) for just a little more than that. Kudos, Omar! Now, quickly, before the goodwill lasts, PLEASE go get us some more Luis Castillos, Ambiorx Burgos’ and Julio Vargas’. And PS, when he takes credit for the Oliver Perez deal it makes me sick. Perez was a throw-in. He was going after Roberto Hernandez, who was terrible in his brief tenure as a Met, and he traded Xavier Nady for him, who is mashing the ball this year and could be really valuable as a spot-starter and a right-handed bat for the Mets.

- Aaron Heilman should get one last shot to start for the Mets, maybe in the double-header Tuesday against Atlanta, and if he doesn’t pitch well, they have to designate him.  I can’t handle him anymore.  He has really good stuff - a tailing fastball and a disappearing change-up, but he just gets hit in big spots. And now it’s become mental with him and the only thing that might cure him is a change of scenery. I don’t know why Willie is so adamant about keeping him out in the pen.  Last year his excuse was because Duaner Sanchez went down they needed him out there.  Well, Sanchez is back, and the Mets need a starter from time to time.  What do you have to lose?  The guy has thrown a one-hitter in the big leagues.

- How awesome is Manny Ramirez? He continually proves that disinterest is the key to success in baseball. If you don’t care, and you go out of your way to repeatedly show it, you can’t lose, right? It’s like back in high school, when the guys on the basketball team would play pickup games with other kids at the school. They would never try their hardest, because if they did and they got beat, then what? But the guy is arguably the best right-handed hitter of all-time, so you’ll take it. By the way, the “Manny being Manny” special this week on Sports Center is must-see television. When he cut that ball off in the outfield a few years ago, PRICELESS!

- This just in, Lance Berkman is a man. “Fat Elvis”, as he is affectionately nicknamed, is on a pretty big tear. But what I am in love with is how the man handles his lumber. After he takes a big cut, he gently places his bat on the ground like it is too heavy to toss - like it hurts him to swing. It is similar to how a woodsman uses his ax. Nice sideburns on that guy, too.

Ohhh, these Mets

Man, has it gotten tough to be a New York Mets fan right now. I can’t think of another time in recent memory that it has gone from so good to be a fan of a team to so bad in the span of about eight months. I invite anyone to give me examples of those that can trump the Mets in that category.

But let’s get serious, either this team isn’t as good as everyone thought - and by that I mean the players aren’t really as good as they played in ‘06 - or they just don’t play well on a regular basis. Is there really a difference?

As I write this, the Mets are 17-15 and in fourth place in the NL East, 1.5 games behind Florida and Philly at the top. But if you told me at the beginning of the year that the Mets would be over .500 in May with basically no production out of Jose Reyes or the dueling Los’ (Beltran and Delgado), not to mention a .260 average from David Wright, I would take it. Yes I would. Because you have to figure Beltran is going to figure it out at some point. It may be getting too late for him to salvage his season from a numbers standpoint, but we’ll take some run production and anything that resembles a real batting average from here on out. Delgado fluctuates between looking absolutely finished and looking mediocre. But if he looks mediocre more often, he’ll be a huge help to the Mets. God, that is sad. As far as David Wright goes, he may be the only Met I trust at the plate, and his past has got to make you comfortable in thinking he’ll turn it around.
Ryan Church has got to be the biggest man in Major League Baseball. Forget what he’s done offensively, it’s his ownership of right field that has me on the Church wagon. When he gunned down Chris Burke at third base against the D-Backs last Sunday, it saved the game for the Mets. He quietly has one of the best outfield arms in all of baseball, and he takes pride in it, too. He frequently stares down guys that he guns down and those that hold in fear of his cannon get a stare and a nod from Church.

We’re going to leave Willie out of this one because I would need about 1,000 words to fully explain why his limbs should be spread out through the boroughs of New York City like William Wallace, with his head as the welcome piece on the new Ebbets Field-esque veranda at the new Citi Field.

Save a Horse, Ride a College Athlete

After watching this past weekend’s disg-race at Churchill Downs, I have officially sworn off horse racing forever. In fact, I have sworn off all animal racing, so you won’t catch me down at the PBKC anymore, betting on the puppies in their perennial quest to catch up to Rusty. I don’t know exactly what did it for me; maybe the scene of a horse being put to death after running in a pointless race, or maybe the fact that the horse’s owner still collected a rather hefty second-place purse for Eight Belles’ strong showing (Not that the owner, a Hobe Sound resident, wasn’t broken up over the whole thing.) It could have been the Extra Point commentary on ESPN Radio by SportsCenter anchor Neil Everett where he called a horse dying after a race an “occupational hazard”, or even the horse’s trainer saying that the the phillie was “happy” to make the ultimate sacrifice. Please - like these people know what the horse wants or not. Yes, I understand racehorses get treated like Kings and Queens, but treating a living thing well doesn’t give you the right to put its life on the line. If you can show me the dotted line that Eight Belles autographed signing up for this garbage, I will give you five years salary. No joke. Horses are one of the most beautiful and elegant species on this planet - they should not be raced so snobby, stuck-up women can have an excuse to wear a stupid white hat. But I’m not one of those gunslinging satirists who will complain and not suggest an alternative solution. Nope, instead I’m here to offer an immediate fix to the problem.

Instead of horses, use college athletes! It makes perfect sense:

1) Like horses, you don’t have to pay them (Yes, for the first time in my life, college athletes not getting paid is NOT the biggest travesty in my blog). They also cost a lot less to maintain. All you have to do is promise them an “education” and give them sweat-suits with the team name on them. That seems to keep the college athletes of the world pretty content, not to mention blinded from how badly they are being ripped off for their invaluable service.

2) If a college athlete breaks his or her leg, you don’t have to kill it! Instead, send them to a specialist, and get’ em fixed on up and back on that track. Forget the possibility of serious injury and problems later in life, they are there to help YOU for nothing! They are “happy” to do it.

3) College athletes are used to performing on a big stage, so the Derby and other big races shouldn’t be a culture shock. Football players are the performers in a show that generates over $5 billion in revenue yearly. They are used to making rich people richer and seeing nothing in return, so they should be “happy” to do it.

4) They are used to being pushed out the door. In college, you get four, maybe five, years of eligibility. That may be longer than a racehorse’s career, but you get the idea. When they’re time has come, just shove ‘em out the door and bring in newer, younger blood. For horses, this time is called going to stud. For most college athletes, it’s called trying to get a job in an industry you had no time to learn about because
you were spending 60 hours a week generating revenue for a school, conference and national association that don’t care about you and aren’t paying you. Whew! Long sentence.

I worked a ton during my college years, whether it was at the school paper, running the kitchen at a pizza place, or working the door at a bar. I can tell you it’s tough. I can also tell you I was getting paid. Believe me, I did less for that restaurant than Tim Tebow is doing for UF, the SEC and all of college football.